Video Games and Me

Fascination
When I was young, I was charmed by video games. They were something completely foreign to my existence. In the house that I lived in as a small child, we didn't have video games. Visiting relatives, however, basically introduced me to the concept of video games. Cousins often had a Super Nintendo or a Sega Mega Drive game system hooked up to a TV, and I was amazed. I recall being completely enchanted by these games, and playing Sonic and Mario games for as long as I could (until my parent's called me away for a meal or to start the long drive home) in the basements of houses belong to my aunts and uncles. Since it was something that was completely absent from my normal existence, playing video games at relatives' houses was often a major source of excitement and joy.

Immersion
Probably the most revolutionary event of my pre-high school youth was when my family bought a computer. When I was small my father and my sister and I had played Prince of Persia together, but when in late 1999 our family got a (at the time) new and powerful desktop machine, it changed everything. We bought Myst and Might and Magic VI. I wasn't old enough to understand Myst, but Might and Magic VI was a bit easier for me to grasp. I was already familiar with stories of heroes, wizards, swords, and dragons due to an introduction to Dragonlance from my sister. I loved Might and Magic VI. I loved it so much that I probably played the game through three times, and I got other games in the series (Might and Magic VII and VIII) based purely off of my love of the first game. I recall spending hours playing Starcraft and the Diablo games. When a classmate introduced me to emulators, it might have been the beginning of my long and glorious career of getting-things-for-free-online-rather-than-paying-for-them-in-stores. Armed with a Super Nintendo Emulator, various Marios, Final Fantasys were available to me. Some of the best memories I have of video games are of RPGs like the various Final Fantasy games and Tales of Phantasia. To me, these games were like novels. I usually used a set button to speed through boring random battles and walking at a high speed (another benefit of using an emulator rather than a real console) so that I could quickly get to the dialogues or the next key point in the progression of the plot. Naturally, most of my memories of these games are not of fighting of monsters, but rather are about the relationships between the characters, the experiences that they go through, and their reactions. Looking back, they really feel like interactive novels. At some point, we got a N64 and later a Playstation 2. I vaguely recall getting a Gameboy at some point too. There were certainly some games from these consoles that I spend many hours on and enjoyed (such as FFX and Zelda), but I don't have as many memories of other console games. I think that, in general, they tended to be simpler, with less of a focus on story, characters, and plot, and with more of a focus on simple repetitive action.

Rejection
Now I look back at how many hours a spent playing video games with a bit of a shudder. Calculating just for the Final Fantasy series, I have no doubt that if the same number of hours had been devoted to a language class I could have learned French, German, or Spanish up to a decent level. Of course, I didn't have the same desire for productivity back then as I do now, and it is likely that I wouldn't have had the motivation to learn a language or do something similar back at that age, but I look back on those hours and wish that I could re-use them more productively, somehow. Naturally, I do not consider all of the hours I spent playing video games to be wasted. Many, but not all. As I mentioned earlier, some of the games that focused more on character and story were more like novels to me, and I still think back, remember, and enjoy those stories. Others, however, had no real story or progression, I would quickly cut them out of my past if I could. Although I hadn't reached this level of reasoning at age 18, arriving at Kalamazoo College helped me to realize how enjoyable it was to socialize, and I basically gave up video games as soon as I arrived there. It was seriously a big change. In middle school and high school I probably spent most of my time in the evenings after school either reading (mostly fantasy novels or Dungeons and Dragons books late into the night) or playing video games. After arriving at college though (Autumn of 2006), I basically didn't touch video games until January of 2009. For more than two years video games were simply less interesting than spending time with the circus club, hanging out with new friends, exploring what it was like to flirt, getting my schoolwork done on time, and generally being a young college student with other young college students. I look back and think how young and foolish I was then, but it was certainly an improvement over who I was in high school.

Acceptance
In January of 2009, to guard against boredom and the cold winter, I spend a few weeks downloading and playing amateur RPG games on my computer. They were story- and character-focused, creative, and very enjoyable to play. Once I started my spring semester and life picked up pace again, however, I didn't touch games again until more than a year later. In spring of 2010, with my graduation a week or so away, and my schoolwork basically finished, I didn't really have any projects on my plate, so to keep myself from boredom I again spent a few days of playing games, this time more casual games from Kongregate, which my roommates had introduced me to. The following winter I spent a week or two obsessed with Spore, and I just finished a two week obsession over Divine Divinity.

I think I have a general pattern, now: I will spend a week or two each year playing a video game intensely, and then not touch video games for the rest of my year. I think that works okay for me. I know that I don't have to do something productive (such as study/learn something new) constantly, and the joy and relaxation that is brought from slaying dragons or saving the world can be pretty nice too. I still have mixed feelings, and I still have a desire to spend more of my waking hours doing productive things, but I find more and more the great difference between my desires and expectations as opposed to my reality. Looking at it logically, though, I don't really see how spending 10 hours non-productively playing a video game is any better or worse than spending 10 hours non-productively watching bad movies or crappy TV shows, watching sport games, or reading low-quality novels. Enjoyment is what counts in recreation time, right?